Getting Weary.

If you know our family, you know that my husband lost his job last year.  The scaling down of employees at his company came as a shock to us and though he didn't exactly love his job, it did provide an income.

After the realization that he was now unemployed sank in and we were able to regroup, we started to pray for direction and guidance in this new situation that we found ourselves in.  Our immediate prayer was that God would bless Jeff with a job that would be a perfect fit for him.  We didn't necessarily pray that it would be soon, but that it would be God ordained.  He knew that we would move back to WNY only to face downsizing once again, and He knew what would follow.  His Word says "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28) and we trusted that He had our best interests in mind.  Over and over, I would repeat this verse in my head, reminding myself that though this is hard, good will come out of it.

Month after month, Jeff and I would wonder about the immediate future.  Would we have enough money to meet our monthly bills, to feed our children, to get through the winter?  We also wondered if maybe that perfect fit job would come and we wouldn't have to worry about those things for very long.

With each interview that my husband eagerly went on, our hope grew and we found ourselves thinking that maybe "this was it".  We were mildly hopeful several times but inevitably, the company would choose someone who had several years' more experience.

It has now been 7.5 months and Jeff is still without a job, but not for lack of trying.  I am so proud of him and how he has handled this challenge as the provider of our family.  It's not easy for a man to be home all of the time.  And it's not easy for his wife, either.

I have supported and encouraged in the best ways I know how.  I've spent time praying, speaking words of truth and encouragement to my husband and finding comfort in God's Word.  I have sent email after email, updating so that people will know how to pray for us.  I have been patient.

And now, I am weary.

Lord, I trust You are with me, even when I can't feel it.  I trust Your plan is good, even when I don't know it.  Thank You that you are at the end of my rope.  My hope is in You.  Amen.

Juggling

I've got a bunch of blog posts swimming in my head, but not enough hours in the day to capture them all. These two precious little boys God has entrusted to my care are keeping me busy and on my toes. My littlest one is still my sweet, patient boy, but shows his temper when I try to curb his exploring. In this week alone, I've pulled him off of the table or chairs more times than I can count, removed remnants of already chewed (and swallowed?) crayons from his mouth and discovered that he likes to pump the soap dispenser while walking around the house with it.  His big brother is such an energetic one, always on the go and wanting to learn.  He's got the creative genes for sure.  Yesterday he decided that food coloring was a good idea.  When he's not dying his skin, he's having fun pestering his brother and sets me on edge some days.

I daily count the thousands of gifts I'm surrounded by and have been spending lots of time contemplating how God's been working in my (our) life.  There is so much goodness, so much to be thankful for.